Guest Post by Kourtney

Authentic leaders are my favorite. The people who, no matter the setting, show up with their why firmly in place and their integrity solid. It is the kind of leader that you may passionately disagree with on a topic, but you know that at their core, they too want what is best for kids (and adults). Finding your footing and being comfortable in your own skin when you are on a leadership learning curve is critical, and yet so challenging, especially when you may be in the “fake it until you make it” mode. The journey to authenticity in leadership is a worthy one, and there are some hacks to ease the process.

In my first principalship, I followed one of my friends, a very charismatic man who exuded culture and energy. He wore a onesie on pajama day, had daily battles on the basketball court, and played Kidz Bop from his phone during recess. My first few months were filled with very sweet well-intentioned “Um, Mr. C used to…” or “Are you going to do that like Mr. C?” Wanting to please my audience, I tried to fit into the mold that he had left behind and I failed horribly. I’m more cerebral than athletic, and it showed on the court. I felt like I was walking through the hallways of my building trying to fit my face into a mask of a different person, and it just wasn’t working.

At this same time, I was given a mentor at the district office, who was also an incredible leader with a different style than my own. She was organized, poised, articulate, the perfect professional, with clear boundaries between work and home. Taking her advice, I tried to put a strong foot forward, hiding my insecurities and candidness about the challenges I was facing. I started to feel boxed in, claustrophobic to the styles of other leaders that I was trying to emulate. It wasn’t that their suggestions or ways of doing the work were wrong; they just weren’t me. 

I met with one of my colleagues, who I lovingly refer to as my “ugly cry mentor,” the person who can pick me up from a puddle on the floor, straighten my chin, and give me the swift kick in the backside that I so desperately needed. She told me she noticed that I wasn’t being myself. My sense of humor was absent, I wasn’t smiling and connecting with people. I was stressed and going through the motions, but in doing that was missing the humanity of the work. I realized through our conversation that in putting on the leadership styles of others, I was silencing my authentic voice and was doing a mediocre job in all arenas. To do the work well, you must center yourself in your purpose, your strengths, and the relationships you build. There is just no way to do that without authenticity. 

How do you know if you are an authentic leader? If you are on a learning curve, how do you find the path to authenticity? Here are some items to reflect on to ease the way:

1. What gets you out of bed every morning? Being able to articulate your passion and purpose for the work is so important. This touchstone becomes the light shining through the tunnel that can bring you out of darkness. When you know your why and are able to articulate it to those around you, others can understand what drives your motivation for this work. 

2. How well do you know your community? Leaning into the humanity of the work is the greatest gift we have as leaders. Relationships are not built by speeches or newsletters, but through conversations, questions, and eye contact. When you seek to understand the personality, needs, and dreams of your community you can connect and align your vision to something truly meaningful. 

3. Are you allowing yourself to be known? We all have different versions of ourselves that we code switch for different audiences, but it is important that you show up in your leadership position with an element of vulnerability. By allowing yourself to be seen by others you reveal your personality, your passions, your fears, your hopes and you are able to connect to others with your humanity. 

4. What role do politics play for you? There’s no denying it, there is an element of politics in leadership, but leaders who are driven by the political chess game of winning their point, while damaging relationships will never succeed in the long game. In our roles we are working to influence and change the actions of adults to serve the outcomes for kids, but we cannot do that by steamrolling or manipulating our way there. Those types of leaders never inspire true greatness, and the reality is that type of leadership doesn’t feel rewarding either.  

5. How well are you caring for yourself? Leaders frequently feel like they need to do all-the-things for everyone while putting themselves low on the list. The truth is that self-care is not selfish; in fact, it is vital for leadership that lasts over time. Modeling methods to promote prioritizing family and work-life balance, leaders can promote a healthy workforce that embraces the “work-hard-play-hard” philosophy.  

The world needs a diversity of leaders. The gifts that you bring to the work are uniquely yours. It can feel intimidating and uncomfortable to reveal your authentic self in the role, but putting yourself out there is critical to your success. People respond to authenticity, they can feel it, hear it, and recognize it. When you lead from your core beliefs, not only will others respond to you, but it should feel natural and energizing because you are leveraging your strength and passion to the position.

-Kourtney

Thank you, Kourtney!